TWIN CONNECTION Ken And Chris Anstiss

36 Twins™ Magazine S ep/Oct 2008 www.TwinsMagazine.com
By Ken Anstiss
West London, England
have a twin tale to tell of me and
my identical twin brother. I live in
West London, England, and my
brother lives in New South Wales, Australia


A Definite Twin Connection
Tales From Twins
Ken (left) and Chris Anstiss, 18-months-old.

I We have been living apart for 34 years and have been feeling each other’s pain
both
physically and mentally over the last 58 years. Whatever happens to my
brother in Australia sooner or later happens to me. It is a strange
feeling and I wonder if any other identical twins out there in the
U.S.A. or in other parts of the world have experienced this same thing?

We
have always experienced strange things throughout our lives as twins
and it didn’t end when my identical twin brother left England to live
in Australia. It was such a strange feeling that I couldn’t even begin
to explain when my brother’s plane flew off to New South Wales with his
new Australian wife. We had lost many members
in our family by then
but the feeling of loss and sadness that I was experiencing that day
just couldn’t compare. I actually felt cut in half, like a part of me
was dying. Over the years I have learned to live with the separation
from my twin, although my wife and family have suffered, I am very
lucky to have their support.
When we were about two-years-old we had
our very own twin-language and would talk to one another. Our mum told
us nobody else could understand us but it appeared that we knew what we
were talking about as we would nod or shake our heads at each other. We
were always very close and didn’t fight much only when we were playing
around.

As kids, we always got colds at the same time and also
sore throats on occasion. However, I always seemed to be worse off than
my brother. One time, our doctor decided to send Chris, my twin, to
have his tonsils out but not send me! He was in the hospital a week and
it was very traumatic for me (we were nine-years-old at the time) and
while he was in the hospital I really missed having him by my side. The
day after his operation, I complained to my mum about pain and soreness
at both sides of my mouth, she looked carefully in my mouth but could
find nothing. When we visited Chris in the hospital that afternoon and
while he was lying on a cot looking very sad, he told me his throat was
sore and that the doctors had hurt his mouth on both sides. Blood could
be seen at each corner of his lips where the doctors had gagged his
mouth open. What was strange was this was the exact spots in my throat
where I had complained to my mum about.

We were quite tiny, thin
and very placid when we were young. I can remember one day when Chris
was bullied as he walked home from school. The bully was much bigger
than us and he pulled my brothers cap off his head and then ran across
the road. He threatened to throw his cap over the fence. As I heard him
pleading to get his cap back I started to get really annoyed. The bully
did throw his cap in the air and my brother started to cry as the boy
continued to torment him. Then something happened and I just kind of
snapped inside. I screamed at the bully “give my brother his cap back!”
Then I ran across the road picked the bully up by his jacket and
trousers and lifted him up high over my head and threw him into the
road. I picked up the cap, dusted it off, and left him in a crumpled
heap crying. My brother couldn’t believe what I had just done and he
asked me how I did it, but I really had
no idea. To lift this bully
above my head must have taken enormous strength and I remember him
feeling as light as a feather. I just had to get my brothers cap back
and stop him from being tormented and from crying. In normal
circumstances, I would have never reacted that way but we were never
bothered by the bully again!

While Chris was in Australia, I
began getting pains in my chest. My wife was worried, but I assumed I
had just overdone it in the garden. Chris phoned a couple of days later
to say that he had been having chest pains and was rushed to hospital
to discover he had a heart valve defect. He called me and told me to
get myself checked out since it was genetic and that I might have the
same problem. The hospital ran tests on me but they could find nothing
wrong with my heart.
Later that week I was back in my garden when I had a terrible pain in my chest that
brought
me to my knees and I nearly passed out. An ambulance was called and I
was rushed to hospital where the doctors told me they thought I was
having a heart attack and that my heart now had an erratic heartbeat.
Days later my brother phoned to say he was in hospital, the doctors had
tried to shock his heart into a better rhythm but unfortunately it had
stopped his heart altogether and they had to use emergency treatment to
get his heart beating again. When they shocked my brother’s heart back
into life, it was at the same exact time that I was in my garden
passing out from the pain in my chest. I now have to take pills to
control my heartbeat but strangely the hospital told me apart from the
unusual beat, I didn’t have a heart attack and there was still nothing
wrong with my heart. The doctors were baffled.

Our lives as
twins have been following a similar pattern. I had terrible pain in my
back one day and could hardly walk, only to find out later my brother
had slipped a disc in his back. Whenever he gets back pain now I seem
to get it but I don’t have a slipped disc in my back. Another twin
connection it seems. It feels like we are still connected by an
invisible chord since what happens to him seems to also happen to me. I
feel his pain more than he feels mine… but I think that is through more
of a need on my end. For over 58 years, we have been experiencing these
feelings and I really don’t see this changing for us. We have both
saved each other’s
lives when crossing the road and saved each other
from drowning, too. He nearly killed me, I nearly killed him and both
times we were both just playing around.
My twin brother is
left-handed and I am right-handed. I had two girls and a boy, and he
had two boys and a girl. My twin was bullied at work and left his job.
One year later my Forman did the same to me, and he was finally
disciplined for it, but I left my job because of lack of support from
the management. My brother changed his job from engineer to
Psychologist; I changed mine to teaching and then back to engineering
working in a university. When my brother was having problems at home, I
felt the emotions, too and knew he was feeling sad. He later divorced
and married again.

Most recently, I have been talking to my wife about moving
to
the coast to a smaller house and my brother just told me this week that
they are downsizing and moving near the sea? We still know what the
other is about to say before we say it and we will sometimes speak the
same thing at the same time! It is weird and strange but after 34 years
apart, I thought this connection would not be as strong as it still is.
Having an identical twin is a closeness that no one person
can
understand…unless of course they are an identical twin. He dreams of
me, I dream of him, we will always be together and I wonder if there
are other identical twins out there that have had the same experiences?
Tales From Twins
Ken and Chris Anstiss, 48-years-old.
The first time they’d seen each other in 24 years.

Hi Ken

I found your story very interesting. I don't know a lot about twins but there must be a special relationship/bond between each other. I could imagine it would be hard to feel like an individual when you both experience so much together. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

Maggie

Hi Ken,

It was well worth the wait! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your article. Like Maggie said, you both certainly do have a special bond.

Adele.

Hi Ken

What an absolutely wonderful story. This is the stuff dreams are made of. It must be so wonderful to have such a close bond (except when it comes to pain ). How many times have you met since Chris went to Australia. Would love to hear more of your exploits. did you ever change places at school to fool the teachers? You must write more as I am now addicted.

Loved it and thank you for sharing - this is wonderful

Gypsy

A wonderful story Ken thank you so much for sharing it with us. Bonds like this are very special.

Thanks Maggie, and especially for your help in getting the article on the site.

The bond we have, never ceases to amaze me ,Chris has to go into hospital next week to have the same operation I had nine months ago.
He is going grey in exactly the same spot as me too!Thanks for looking in.

We have met twice in thirty four years,once when my father was dying ,and then just after my mum passed away. It's a very strong bond that I can't really explain.The pain when he left England was the worst I have ever felt.
We were nicknamed the terrible twins at school so you can imagine, and yes. we changed jumpers that mum had stiched a "C" and a "K" on, Chris would be me for the day, and I would be him. Thanks for reading, I havn't finished my story about us,it is over 50,000 words now full of the weired and wonderful things and the not so wonderful that have happened during our time apart.

Thanks Cath, A very special bond indeed,it must seem strange to be able to feel another persons pain but Chris and I have felt this from a very early age.

Fascinating Ken and a privilege to read. My wife has twin brothers, one was posted to Malta & one to Cyprus during National Service. They fell ill and didn't recover until both were united in Malta. Strange but true as you can testify. Good luck to you both - or should I say to you since he will get it anyway!!
Castallaman

Hi Ken, what a wonderful write. It certainly held my attention and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Congratulations Ken, well done. Regards, Yokel.

Thanks Castallerman,when we did meet after twenty four years, we went back into twin mode, finishing off each others sentances and both talking at the same time,my sister was totally bewildered by what was happening. it is truly a privilage to be a twin.

Thanks Yokel ,the magazine changed it around a bit to suit the American market, I felt it lost the flow but that's publishing!