36 Twins™ Magazine S ep/Oct 2008
www.TwinsMagazine.comBy Ken Anstiss
West London, England
have a twin tale to tell of me and
my identical twin brother. I live in
West London, England, and my
brother lives in New South Wales, Australia
A Definite Twin Connection
Tales From Twins Ken (left) and Chris Anstiss, 18-months-old.
I We have been living apart for 34 years and have been feeling each other’s pain
both
physically and mentally over the last 58 years. Whatever happens to my
brother in Australia sooner or later happens to me. It is a strange
feeling and I wonder if any other identical twins out there in the
U.S.A. or in other parts of the world have experienced this same thing?
We
have always experienced strange things throughout our lives as twins
and it didn’t end when my identical twin brother left England to live
in Australia. It was such a strange feeling that I couldn’t even begin
to explain when my brother’s plane flew off to New South Wales with his
new Australian wife. We had lost many members
in our family by then but the feeling of loss and sadness that I was experiencing that day just couldn’t compare. I actually felt cut in half, like a part of me
was dying. Over the years I have learned to live with the separation
from my twin, although my wife and family have suffered, I am very
lucky to have their support. When we were about two-years-old we had
our very own twin-language and would talk to one another. Our mum told
us nobody else could understand us but it appeared that we knew what we
were talking about as we would nod or shake our heads at each other. We
were always very close and didn’t fight much only when we were playing
around.
As kids, we always got colds at the same time and also sore throats on occasion. However, I always seemed to be worse off than my brother. One time, our doctor decided to send Chris, my twin, to have his tonsils out but not send me! He was in the hospital a week and it was very traumatic for me (we were nine-years-old at the time) and while he was in the hospital I really missed having him by my side. The
day after his operation, I complained to my mum about pain and soreness
at both sides of my mouth, she looked carefully in my mouth but could
find nothing. When we visited Chris in the hospital that afternoon and
while he was lying on a cot looking very sad, he told me his throat was
sore and that the doctors had hurt his mouth on both sides. Blood could
be seen at each corner of his lips where the doctors had gagged his
mouth open. What was strange was this was the exact spots in my throat
where I had complained to my mum about.
We were quite tiny, thin and very placid when we were young. I can remember one day when Chris was bullied as he walked home from school. The bully was much bigger than us and he pulled my brothers cap off his head and then ran across
the road. He threatened to throw his cap over the fence. As I heard him
pleading to get his cap back I started to get really annoyed. The bully
did throw his cap in the air and my brother started to cry as the boy
continued to torment him. Then something happened and I just kind of
snapped inside. I screamed at the bully “give my brother his cap back!”
Then I ran across the road picked the bully up by his jacket and
trousers and lifted him up high over my head and threw him into the
road. I picked up the cap, dusted it off, and left him in a crumpled
heap crying. My brother couldn’t believe what I had just done and he
asked me how I did it, but I really had no idea. To lift this bully
above my head must have taken enormous strength and I remember him
feeling as light as a feather. I just had to get my brothers cap back
and stop him from being tormented and from crying. In normal
circumstances, I would have never reacted that way but we were never
bothered by the bully again!
While Chris was in Australia, I began getting pains in my chest. My wife was worried, but I assumed I had just overdone it in the garden. Chris phoned a couple of days later to say that he had been having chest pains and was rushed to hospital
to discover he had a heart valve defect. He called me and told me to
get myself checked out since it was genetic and that I might have the
same problem. The hospital ran tests on me but they could find nothing
wrong with my heart. Later that week I was back in my garden when I had a terrible pain in my chest that brought me to my knees and I nearly passed out. An ambulance was called and I was rushed to hospital where the doctors told me they thought I was having a heart attack and that my heart now had an erratic heartbeat.
Days later my brother phoned to say he was in hospital, the doctors had
tried to shock his heart into a better rhythm but unfortunately it had
stopped his heart altogether and they had to use emergency treatment to
get his heart beating again. When they shocked my brother’s heart back
into life, it was at the same exact time that I was in my garden
passing out from the pain in my chest. I now have to take pills to
control my heartbeat but strangely the hospital told me apart from the
unusual beat, I didn’t have a heart attack and there was still nothing
wrong with my heart. The doctors were baffled.
Our lives as twins have been following a similar pattern. I had terrible pain in my
back one day and could hardly walk, only to find out later my brother
had slipped a disc in his back. Whenever he gets back pain now I seem
to get it but I don’t have a slipped disc in my back. Another twin connection it seems. It feels like we are still connected by an invisible chord since what happens to him seems to also happen to me. I feel his pain more than he feels mine… but I think that is through more of a need on my end. For over 58 years, we have been experiencing these feelings and I really don’t see this changing for us. We have both
saved each others' lives when crossing the road and saved each other
from drowning, too. He nearly killed me, I nearly killed him and both
times we were both just playing around.
My twin brother is left-handed and I am right-handed. I had two girls and a boy, and he had two boys and a girl. My twin was bullied at work and left his job. One year later my Forman did the same to me, and he was finally disciplined for it, but I left my job because of lack of support from the management. My brother changed his job from engineer to Psychologist; I changed mine to teaching and then back to engineering working in a university. When my brother was having problems at home, I felt the emotions, too and knew he was feeling sad. He later divorced
and married again.
Most recently, I have been talking to my wife about moving to
the coast to a smaller house and my brother just told me this week that
they are downsizing and moving near the sea? We still know what the
other is about to say before we say it and we will sometimes speak the
same thing at the same time! It is weird and strange but after 34 years
apart, I thought this connection would not be as strong as it still is. Having an identical twin is a closeness that no one person can understand…unless of course they are an identical t win. He dreams of me, I dream of him, we will always be together and I wonder if there are other identical twins out there that have had the same experiences?
Tales From Twins
Ken and Chris Anstiss, 48-years-old.
The first time they’d seen each other in 24 years.
http://www.twinsmagazine.com/
Subject: TWIN CONNECTION Ken And Chris Anstiss 
Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:13 pm
